PATG300: Nothing to Celebrate

PATG300: Nothing to Celebrate

*Attention: This show is so old it’s in the ARCHIVES now! For exclusive access to the MP3 version of this show, head over to our Patreon page!*

Recording Date – 15 / Oct / 2017

The Gang – Puke & Andrew

Intro – “Instrumental Experiment 6” by  Mike Carano


Guest –  [ Tom ] ~ [ Unique Food Collector ] ~ [ www.vietnamwarcollectables.com ]


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Incoherent Listener Ramblings –

~ [See Below]


Break Promo –

~ PCL : News With Nick


Talkings About –

~ Andrew gets pulled over, treated nice

~ Finances “I Will Teach You Rich” by Ramit Sethi

~ [p] What I do about a skunk in my yard?

~ [a] Mouse

~ [a] The Letter  


– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

To alzheimers workers, doctors and nurses,


I was recently called with a warning by officer Kohtz of the University of ###### PD. I have been looking for some way to cure some of your alzheimers patients with my miraculous nutracutical, EXPELLIT (GRAZOPH TEMUNA) which has cured 25 people of alzheimers. Evidently, some people in University ### ALZ. do not believe I have the cure to alzheimer’s. But they refuse to talk to anyone who tried it, refused to try it themselves, and say it does not work. Then they called the police on me, which I usually curse heavily, and my magicians curse heavily, anyone who does that.


I am a very just person, so I feel I must do something to punish the entire University Alz establishment. You are criminal obstructors, murderers, preventing your patients, who trusted in you, from getting cured by me. The means of punishment is the BLACK DEVILS will come up from their star of darkness and take your souls. Then you have 28 days to pay me off before your soul is eaten by the black devils. Even afterward, if you pay the price, we can get you prosthetic soul, which is better than nothing when it comes time for you to die. Without a soul, there is nobody to go to the light. Cost to get your souls back, or prosthetic souls is as follows: Doctors $2,000, nurses $600, workers $250.


I will waive all costs and fines if the University Alz allowed me to go to work and cure 6 people of alzheimers or dementia using my product and my incredible skills. Its no cost to start, but I want $1,000 each at the end of treatments. To cure old people with grazoph takes 3 to 5 weeks.


I invented EXPELLIT (the grazoph temuna) 15 years ago, out of necessity. I was the first user and it worked quickly. 15 years in obscurity is enough. You are going to ALLOW ME TO expose THE WORKING CURE. If there is no answer to this letter, by you, then I may get mad and ask IMHOTEP to take away your Spirits, like we did to officer Kohtz. In addition, we can, using SYLPH’s 88K redline system, break up just about anyone’s marriage. The doctor lady who called the cops on me is now under 3,200 curses. The cost to resolve: $3,200.


Douglas Louisville